UNLEADED

Running on Empty

Prime the Pump

I am sharing with you some most personal remembrances from my boyhood as an encouragement to you in what manner and to what degree you may relate.  And, to 

testify openly to the Faithfulness and Trustworthiness of our Father God.

In the midst of the honor, privilege, and excitement of organizing this year’s Men’s Conference for YOU, I did not expect the LORD to re-examine the healed scars of my own wounded heart.

He is gently reminding me just how far He has brought me – how He pulled me out of the hopeless mire, how He has established my footing, how He has chosen me and claimed me as His own, and how the emptiness I felt for so long has been filled – and is being filled more and more - with Himself!

Eight short devotions, ponderings follow to prime our hearts and minds for the upcoming Men’s Conference on Friday, October 25 at 6:30 in the Summit Gym.  This gathering will be a time of encouragement, challenge, and change for us Men to receive our Created Call more fully.

The following is filled with a mix of humor and heaviness – of encouragement and challenge.  But, the message is clear – Victory, through the work of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit !! 

I love the heart of Men – to lead, to serve, to pursue, to protect, to love, to stand, etc.

May the LORD reveal Himself as Father to the fatherless, as Friend to the lonely, as Shepherd to the lost, as Teacher to hungry, as Coach to the weak, as Healer to the broken, and as

Savior to us all.

Enjoy, laugh at my expense.  Pray with me for the wounded hearts of Men – young and old.

In the love of Christ – 

your brother in the Faith,

                        Russell  

MILE.01

REARVIEW   MIRROR

“Just a glance”, they would say.   “Just look into it for a few quick seconds and then focus back on the road in front of you”.  That rearview mirror takes center place in the windshield, yet it’s only meant to be used sparingly – for quick reference.

Rearview mirrors are used to take a quick inventory of what’s happening behind you.  A reference point to see if another car is following you too closely – signaling you to perform a quick brake-check on your ‘close friend’.   Glancing into the rearview mirror informs you if it’s safe to change lanes, if you’re about to hit the car parallelled-parked behind you as you maneuver in or out of your space, and it helps you monitor the kids in the backseat or the 2 x 4’s sliding around in the truck bed because you didn’t think you needed to strap them down 😊  And, of course, the joke, “So you can see where you’ve been”.

I see a lesson for us:

Do we sometimes stare too long into the Rearview Mirror of our lives - focusing on the past (regrets, mistakes, longing for how things use-to-be, missing the familiar, etc.) – rather than focusing on the horizon of eternity ahead of us?  Trusting God in the wonder of it all?

Somewhat like the Israelites, complaining to Moses and stating that they wanted to go back to their slavery in Egypt where things were familiar.  They were deceived by starring too long into the rearview mirror of their lives.

If they had taken the advice of my driving instructor, “only glance, only look back to take inventory of what’s behind you”.  Then, they would have remembered how Jehovah had parted the Red Sea for their freedom, how He drowned their enemies in defeat, and they would have recalled the images of His victory as the corpses washed up along the sea shore.  

Instead, their long stare deceived and disillusioned them to the point of disbelief and rebellion causing their mistrust to sentence them to a death a part from God – forever.

As Sons of God, we need to focus and navigate this life with our minds set on things above – with eternity in view, on the horizon ahead of us.  Trusting God in the unknown.  Obeying His direction, design, and desire.

“. . . but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” – Philippians 3:13-14

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.” – Hebrews 12:1-2

The story of the Bible is that of God the Father leading a chosen family into greater and greater discovery of who He is and into deeper and deeper relationship with Him all-the-while testifying of His desire to adopt the rest of His created human race through the life, death, and resurrection of His Firstborn Son, Jesus the Christ, so that none should perish.

MILE .02

MATCHBOX   ESCAPE

As a young boy, I spent hours upon hours playing with my Matchbox cars.  I would think up storylines and scenarios in my head and play them out while crawling around on the carpet of my bedroom floor.  That green carpet was just the right thickness for carving roads with my  fingers and still thin enough for plastic tires to roll freely.  Yet, that green carpet was coarse enough to quickly wear holes in the knees of my school jeans!

I remember my storylines being heavily influenced by the television shows that I watched – Dukes of Hazard topped the list. 

Eventually, the car chases needed something – they needed wrecked cars!  What else was a boy to do but to sacrifice some of his prized Matchbox cars by placing them behind the tires of his mom’s real, life-sized station wagon and eagerly await the crushing sound as she backed out of the gravel driveway.  The result? – flattened chassis’, broken windshields, bent axels and missing tires, etc. Success!

To be honest, the time spent in my imaginary world eclipsed an age of maturing that is embarrassing to admit.  Now, as I look back, I don’t think I was just ‘playing’ as much as I was ‘escaping’ – escaping the real world where I didn’t feel comfortable in my own skin; where I didn’t feel equal to or accepted by my peers; where it was easier to be alone then it was to try to work to find a fit or a friend.  My Matchbox Escape provided a way for dealing with the problems/struggles I faced.  Eventually, I ‘Manned Up’ – I made a conscious and wise decision around age 11-12 to pack-up my car collection (some of the crushed ones as well) and save them for my future son.

It still amazes me that I found the courage, in the midst of my pain of rejection, to intentionally, and with maturity beyond my years, STOP self-medicating and enabling my escape mechanism – and, instead, make a hard change for my future.  I experienced some withdrawals.  I may have opened the lid on that box of cars a few times to reminisce.  However, I found the LORD to be my friend, my helper, my healer, and my Father. 

Today, the eyes of this more than half-a-century year old man look out over the landscape of men in our culture - I observe so much focus on self.  Self-indulgence, self-assurance, self-preservation – just plain selfishness.   The masculine landscape, as a whole, seems vastly void of the selfless/servanthood life for which we Men are Created and Called.

How many, and to what varying degrees, are the men in our culture ‘masking’, hiding, escaping a wounded heart by powering through with overemphasis in some areas of their lives - using their own compromised strength to overcompensate for a self-perceived weakness or short-coming?   

On the other end of the spectrum, men in our culture may live out their ‘maskulinity’ by fading into the background – like me, they may build walls around themselves and hide-out in some pseudo life they create in their head.  Often, this may play out by excessive time spent and over-interest in watching other men live out lives of achievement through business, sports, gaming, media, etc. 

I believe the wounded heart of man is an epidemic in our culture and we are seeing them cry out through increasing levels of rage and violence, rampant drug use, the explosion of porn consumption, and other self-medicating vices.

I’ve found that self-focus most often indicates areas of immaturity or insecurity or self-perceived weakness.  When we are not living for something, or someone, greater than ourselves, than we are not living to the fullest.  We are not living the life we were created for and called to. 

Do you see this? Would you agree that the culture of men in our nation seek more to receive than to serve?   To take than to give?  To get than to earn?

A wounded heart may be intermittently comforted by self-indulgence, but it can only be cured with selfless giving.

Jesus was persecuted, disavowed, rejected, hated, stripped, whipped, beaten, pushed to his physical limits, barbarically killed, and felt the face of His Father turning away from Him– if anyone had a wounded heart it would be Him.  Yet, His words upon the cross, “Forgive them for they know not what they do”, demonstrate for us how to heal our wounded heart.  Not by creating a make-believe storyline where we are justified to self-medicate and enable our escape mechanism to go unleashed.  But, instead, humbling ourselves to forgive and to serve so that we can be freed from victim mentality and begin the empowering journey of a victor!  We take-up our God-given courage to make the hard change.  The LORD honors a repentant heart and gives help to the one who asks.

He is willing, wanting, and waiting to be your friend, helper, healer, and Father. 

Has your heart been wounded?

Do you have a Matchbox Escape that you need to put a STOP to?

Is there someone you need to forgive?   

Life is fuller, freer, and richer when you live for something greater than yourself.

¹¹No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening—it’s painful! But afterward 

 there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way.

¹²So take a new grip with your tired hands and strengthen your weak knees. 

¹³Mark out a straight path for your feet so that those who are weak and lame 

 will not fall but become strong.

                                                                                    Romans 12:11-13

MILE .03

MATCHBOX   KINGDOM

Walmart wasn’t a thing when I was a young boy.  Endless, mindless, frequent trips to shop for anything other than groceries, a specific piece of necessary clothing, or Christmas presents didn’t happen very often.   So, on occasion, I would find myself in the checkout aisle in the grocery store or perhaps exploring the boy aisle of the toy department (while waiting on my sisters to try on clothes) hunting for a new Matchbox car/truck to acquire.

Whether it was a replica of a new car model, a copy of a television ‘show’ car, a race car, or just something that caught my eye – I knew what I liked and how it would help to expand the storylines in my Matchbox Kingdom when I brought it home.

In my created stories, I was always the wealthiest man in town, the most successful business owner, the mayor or governor, the largest landowner . . . the one everyone looked up to and respected.   I would pick out my favorite cars of the day and add them to make-believe parking court in front of my make-believe mansion.

As I reflect back, those are the things I thought I needed to achieve in order to be accepted by others and to be happy with myself.  Society, culture, media, and even well-intentioned adults guided me into thinking and believing that titles and material success were the goals of life.

Fast-forward into failure and finding my treasure hidden in Christ.  It was crushing, disheartening, tough, rough, humiliating, disappointing, etc. not to have achieved any of those accolades my younger self had spoken over my life.

Along the way, though, through the blaming and shaming of self I was also drawn into depending more and more on the LORD and developing a deep sustaining relationship with Him.  I had to continually lean on him to stand. 

A pivotal epiphany for me occurred after more than a decade of being stuck wrestling with questions like, “Am I being punished because I didn’t pray enough, or seek God’s will for my life soon enough?”; “Is my failure in career building due to making bad decisions, or is God purposely keeping me from being ‘successful’ for some reason?”; “Is my failure to launch a mix of my weaknesses and God using them to teach me  something?”; “Is it my fault, or God’s plan?”, etc.

A scripture highlighted by the Holy Spirit set me free from condemnation, guilt, and victimization.  A life verse for sure!

Romans 11:36

“For from Him and through Him and to Him are ALL things. To Him be glory forever. 

 Amen”

Simple, yet powerful words that declare ALL things are from Him and through Him and for Him.  The revelations that freed me:

(1) Whatever role I played in my perceived failure – He knew about it beforehand and has been walking with me and working things out for me – literally for eternity!  

(2) Christ took ALL of my punishment when He sacrificed Himself upon the Cross – suffering the consequences of bad choices, human failures, etc. is on me, but even in that God promises to work everything for good for those who love Him and are called by Him.

(3) God is ‘allowing’ THIS to be “MY” story because He could have just as easily orchestrated a different path for me. So, Russell, stop pacing back and forth across the bridge from guilt to calling.  Claim calling and walk in it and be open to whatever else He has for you beyond worldly success.  

Do you remember speaking achievements into your life from your younger self?

Did they come to fruition?  Did they fail to materialize?

How about as grown men, do we spend our efforts, time, and resources building our Matchbox Kingdom or building God’s Kingdom?

We each have our own story that sovereign God has planned and purposed long ago for good works. When we become Sons of God, we acknowledge that ALL things are from Him, through Him, and for Him.   Our desire is to lay our trophies at His feet – submitting and surrendering in order to receive exceedingly and abundantly more than we could ever think or imagine!

“But the day of the Lord will come as unexpectedly as a thief. Then the heavens will pass away with a terrible noise, and the very elements themselves will disappear in fire, and the earth and everything on it will be found to deserve judgment.”     

                                                                                                            2 Peter 3:10

“I tell you, use worldly wealth to gain friends for yourselves, so that when it is gone, you will be welcomed into eternal dwellings.”

                                                                                                            Luke 16:9

MILE .04

Three on the Tree

Dad’s cool 1976 Chevrolet work truck with its heavy metal doors with the push-out vents and manual window cranks; the fuel cap located right beside the driver’s door; the engrained smell of hot vinyl, dirt and dust; the interior stripped of any creature comforts: no cupholders, no carpet, no business console or infotainment screen; the embedded sensory memory of operating those radio knobs, gauges, thin wiper control arm, etc.; and, that mysterious gear shifter people referred to as “Three on the Tree” – I can see myself now climbing into that cab eager to one day be old enough to work the clutch and position the gears.

My first car was a 1974 MGB convertible – red, with a thick gold stripe along the bottom door.

It was a love/hate relationship.   At times, it seemed to with the mechanic more than with me.

I ‘loved’ that car.  We were ‘one’ as I drove it back and forth to school and cross-country practice, church and errands, and on dates.  Sitting low to the ground and listening for the que of the RPM’s to signal me to engage the clutch while moving the wooden-topped shifter into gear -then, with precision timing releasing the clutch  - I was Magnum PI in his borrowed Ferrari !!

There was something about self-engagement, self-involvement, and self-knowledge that I miss today in our automatic transmission ‘progressive’ culture.  The luxury of having gears timed and shifted for you excludes you from the total experience – the partnering, the ‘oneness’ with the car.   Sure, some automatic transmissions offer ‘paddle controls’ – not the same as engaging your whole self into operating the car.  And, some vehicles drive themselves – we are literally surrendering the large part of ourselves to be led by computers and satellites. 

We must be careful in our pursuits toward ‘progress’ and a ‘better way’ not to lose ourselves, not to give ourselves over to be led by others: people, groups, societal/political/cultural ideologies, etc. We must stand firm as men in our Call to love, lead, and live as Sons of God.

As I think about the gear, guiding, and driving system of “Three on the Tree”, I cannot help but see it as a Spiritual Reminder to me of that Old Rugged Cross where my savior died for me – where the Triune God – the three part God, Son, and Spirit – converged that day as God’s Promise was faithfully fulfilled, the Son’s sacrificial body and blood was given, and where the Holy Spirit was released to dwell in and work through men.  I encourage you to fully engage your whole self in learning how to ‘operate’ your life by the Three on the Tree.

2 Corinthians 13:14

¹⁴ May the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all.

Matthew 28:18-20

¹⁸ Jesus came and told his disciples, “I have been given all authority in heaven and on earth. ¹⁹ Therefore, go and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. ²⁰ Teach these new disciples to obey all the commands I have given you. And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age.”

MILE .05

“You Flooded It”

Starting that 1974 MG could sometimes be tricky, to say the least.  Lawnmowers, weedeaters, and the like often brought on more ‘confirmations’, “You flooded it”.

Then, it was the waiting game and a dance with adjusting the choke lever to make another attempt at firing the engine.

Too much fuel ‘floods’ the working of the engine inhibiting it to fire.

We Men have been gifted with the privilege and sacred stewardship to ‘seed’ life – both physically and spiritually.   Not limited to the piercing of a female egg, instead, Created and Called to pierce the hearts of the whole of human kind with the Truth and for the Glory of God!

James 3 describes the power of our tongue to bless or to curse.  Out of it pours (floods) blessing and cursing.  We have been charged with the task of leading, teaching, mentoring, discipling, raising younger generations.  We have the awesome and sober ability to speak blessing, affirmation, confirmation, encouragement, instruction, direction – LIFE.

We also have the same ability to speak condemnation, disappointment, defeat – death.

Like that engine - the spark, the momentum building, and power of life can further be fueled, powered, and propelled by the flooding of blessing.  However, a flood of cursing quenches the spirit of life and forces one into that ‘waiting period’ for the hurt to settle and subside - and into that dance with the ‘choke’ uncertain if and when life will find its fire. 

Some men may reason to ‘play it safe’ by being silent.  They stay on the periphery and stand at a distance claiming, “I’m not sure how to speak life”; “let others do it”; “Others are better at it and have more to say”, etc.  Silence, in this case, is deadly.  Abandoning your Created purpose and your God-given Call is an ‘act’ of cowardice.

How can I do more to speak life into people I come in contact with?

How can I lead the next generation?

Have I / do I tend to abandon my Created purpose and Call to seed Spiritual life in others?

 James 3:7-11

⁷ People can tame all kinds of animals, birds, reptiles, and fish, ⁸ but no one can tame the tongue. It is restless and evil, full of deadly poison. ⁹ Sometimes it praises our Lord and Father, and sometimes it curses those who have been made in the image of God. ¹⁰ And so blessing and cursing come pouring out of the same mouth. Surely, my brothers and sisters, this is not right! ¹¹ Does a spring of water bubble out with both fresh water and bitter water?

Ecclesiastes 11:6

⁶ Plant your seed in the morning and keep busy all afternoon, for you don’t know if profit will come from one activity or another—or maybe both.

Galatians 6:8

⁸ Whoever sows to please their flesh, from the flesh will reap destruction; whoever sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life.

MILE .06

Sunday Joy Rides

Back in the days of manual roll-up windows, front passenger bench seats, push button controls, and chrome accents everywhere - when remote key fobs were something of the Jetsons and locking your car doors in the church parking lot was viewed as sinful mistrust of your neighbor – I took full advantage!

Upon graduating from crawling around on the hardwood floors underneath the church pews after service (while the adults talked for an eternity), I found only slight satisfaction with what the playground had to offer.  For me, the parking lot was Paradise!

A sea, pond of life-size Matchbox cars – unlocked, unattended, and waiting to be explored!

I would go from car to car opening a door, or climbing through the driver’s side window (Dukes of Hazard style) to find the coolest layout of buttons, knobs, and switches to mess with.   

I can still remember as a seven-ish kid noticing the difference in the ‘look’ and ‘feel’ of the knobs and buttons of the American-made cars vs. the Imports.  The BIG cars of yesteryear – the Fords, Chevy’s, and Dodges allowed ample room to roleplay and explore, but to be forthright – I was drawn to the more exotic styles and felt the prophetic tone that the imports would one day explode the market in the U.S.

I couldn’t breach the doors of the Volvo (those sinners), but the Volkswagens, the Fiat, the Hondas, the Mazdas (Datsuns), and my favorite – the Mercedes - all had a ‘foreign’ feel to them that somehow felt more familiar to me than the Chevrolets that chauffeured me around. 

It has taken almost a life-time to begin to view my heavenly Father as a father who enjoys watching His son.  The revelation that God our Father loves us simply because He loves us (and for NO other reason) - that He chose us, He committed Himself to us through His Firstborn Son – has been one of the most powerful shifts in viewing who I am.  And, one of the hardest things for me to grasp and to hang on to.

Sure, our mistakes, our missteps, our times of distancing ourselves from Him, etc. hurt His heart as would any father’s.   And, we need to ask for forgiveness and repent of sinful, abusive, cheap ways in which we treat Him – His holiness, His majesty, His power, His authority.

When we seek Him, seek to know Him, seek to surrender to His leading and we’re in the ‘sweet spot’ of relationship with Him – don’t you know that He is excited for us and eager for us to explore this life He has (literally) given to us?  He is for us.  He wants to lavish love on us.  He wants to be our go-to and our daily call. 

He has created good works for us to do since before He created the foundations of the world.  Not until He prepared the perfect garden, did He place His beloved inside it – crowning His creation with His favor.  Implanting a drive within us.  Giving us an assignment. Entrusting us with a mission.   

My earthly mother and father were not as open-minded about my Sunday Joy Rides in the parking lot of paradise as I would have hoped.  However, I am sure that my Heavenly Father was enjoying my adventures and cheering me on from car to car.

Feeling more at home and connected with the ‘foreign’ interiors speaks to me of our spirituality.  Eternity is the foreign, the unknown, the somewhat mysterious – yet, the bible says eternity is in our hearts, it is our reality, it should dictate how we live today.  The things of this life are tangible, seen, somewhat understood and familiar to us – yet, this is not our home.  Everything we ‘know’ today will be folded up like old clothes and discarded.    

What is your view of God as your Heavenly Father?

Are you a son trying to achieve your Father’s attention/affection/approval?  

Or, have you asked and trusted Him to be your True Father – full of ‘unabandonable’ love, faithful promises, storehouses of blessing, reaffirming relationship - His heart toward you?

Zephaniah 3:17

“For the Lord your God is living among you.
     He is a mighty savior.
He will take delight in you with gladness.
     With his love, he will calm all your fears. 
     He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.”

MILE .07

Route 66 Detour

Route 66 was established as the first interstate highway in the U.S. in the late 1920’s originating in Chicago, IL going south/southwest terminating in Santa Monica, CA.  Its fame grew to represent ‘hope for new beginnings’ – ‘a better life down the road’ and paved the way of symbolizing ‘The American Dream’ during the 1950’s.  To this day, this iconic term brings feelings of nostalgia to millions.

For most, it brings personal (or imparted) memories of economic, industrial, and technological growth and advancement for America, personal financial prosperity, happy days for the coming of age, focus on family values, a resurgence in various social communities, and an allegiance to proven military values such as honor, respect, loyalty, hard-work, rewards, and the like.  The world wars were over and Americans had victoriously endured and had overcome.  Although not a perfect union - still struggling with grave civilian injustices for one – the sales pitch sold to the proponents of American Culture was that Freedom ruled and reigned.

The number “66” immediately triggers the answer to the Bible Bowl Question, “How many books are in the Bible?”  I ponder “66” every time I exit the interstate heading to Celebration Church. 

There’s a good argument to be made for similarity between the symbolic ideologies represented by the Interstate 66 of yesteryear being rooted in the teachings of the Bible’s Way 66.  However, as time passed Route 66 and its “The American Dream” took major detours from being rooted in the teachings – instructions and warnings – of Way 66.

Today, only historic sections of Route 66 remain but the Bible’s teachings are the same as they were and will never change. At one time, the two routes seemed to be somewhat synonymous – traveling parallel in the same direction.  When we fail to nurture a contrite heart pride is given the opportunity to deceive us into believing that there is ‘a better life down the road’.

How do you guard against taking detours in your journey in The Way?

Who could you pray for right now that has taken a detour from following The Way?

What could you do to encourage someone in The Way today?

James 1:12

God blesses those who patiently endure testing and temptation. Afterward they will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.

Galatians 6:9

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.

1 Corinthians 15:58

 So, my dear brothers and sisters, be strong and immovable. Always work enthusiastically for the Lord, for you know that nothing you do for the Lord is ever useless.

Isaiah 55:6-7

Seek the Lord while you can find him.
     Call on him now while he is near.
⁷ Let the wicked change their ways
     and banish the very thought of doing wrong.
Let them turn to the Lord that he may have mercy on them.
     Yes, turn to our God, for he will forgive generously.

MILE .08

Distracted Driving

Distracted Driving? Yes – guilty at times of being wrapped up in the thoughts in my head; a guy trying to multitask is never a good thing; self-pressuring to ‘get r done’ or to ‘make the most of windshield time’; oh, and, I’m old enough now to play the ‘old age’ card - deflecting any blame as if to a third person(?)

Spiritually, Distracted Driving seems much like Double-Mindedness we are warned against in  

Captain James’ Gospel chapter 1:6-8.   When we are not fully focused in our faith, not stable in steering our life’s course, when our devotion is divided – why should we expect to receive anything from the LORD?

‘Distracted Driving’ interferes with communicating with God, it creates obstacles in our path, it Hinders our Prayers from being heard – let alone answered.

Psalm 66:16-20  - confess your sin so God will listen to you

Ezekiel 14:3 – hypocritical to have idols in your heart and then ask of God 

Mark 11:25 – forgive others so God will forgive you

James 4:3 – do not pray with selfish motives

1 John 3:21-22 – obeying God cures a guilty conscience so we can come boldly into His 

presence 

How’s My Driving?  Call: James 1:6-8

How is your ‘Driving’ your Prayer Life?

Are you hiding any idols in your heart hindering your communication with God?

Are you multitasking? Is your driving compromised in anyway?

LORD, show me if there be any unforgiveness, any withholding, any hiding, any unbelief, anything in my heart and life that is keeping me at a distance from you.  Show me and strengthen me by your Spirit living within me to rid my heart, my mind, and my life of any distraction.  Lead me toward a clear path ahead.  Place people, pit stops, and billboards of your grace, mercy, and word along my journey to keep me focused in my faith.  May I not be distracted.  May our relationship not be hindered.  Amen.

Hosea 10:12

Sow righteousness for yourselves,
     reap the fruit of unfailing love,
and break up your unplowed ground;
     for it is time to seek the Lord,
until he comes
     and showers his righteousness on you.

Jeremiah 29:13

You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.